Koko the Gorilla

Koko the Gorilla
Originally uploaded by mryosemite.

Associated Press
August 9th, 2004

Woodside, Calif. - When Koko the gorilla used the American Sign Language gesture for pain and pointed to her mouth, 12 specialists, including three dentists, sprang into action.

The result? Her first full medical examination in about 20 years, an extracted tooth and a clean bill of health.

About a month ago, Koko, a 300-plus-pound ape who became famous for mastering more than 1,000 signs, began telling her handlers at the Gorilla Foundation in Woodside she was in pain. They quickly constructed a pain chart, offering Koko a scale from one to 10.

When Koko started pointing to nine or 10 too often, a dental appointment was made. And because anesthesia would be involved, her handlers used the opportunity to give Koko a head-to-toe exam.

"She's quite articulate," volunteer Johnpaul Slater said. "She'll tell us how bad she's feeling, how bad the pain is. It looked like it was time to do something."

Twelve specialists - a Stanford cardiologist, three anesthesiologists, three dentists, an ear and throat specialist, two veterinarians, a gastroenterologist and a gynecologist - volunteered to help.

The team came to Koko on Sunday, bringing portable X-ray and ultrasound machines. They set up shop at her "apartment," which looks like a remodeled box car, complete with a makeshift toilet, television, DVD player and lots of toys.

After four hours of tests - including a colonoscopy, gynecological exam, dental work, X-rays, and ultrasounds - doctors pronounced her fit.

This settles it, I'm going to buy an ape suit and learn sign language. Koko's health plan beats the hell out of my HMO.

Note to self: get a male monkey suit to avoid gynecological exam. Also, double check the zipper, don't really want the colonoscopy either.