Ring Tones

When I first started my current job, they gave me a Nokia cell phone that was PERFECT! I love Nokias! In fact, it worked so well, they decided to force a new phone on me - BRILLIANT! You know the routine....if it's not broke - FIX THE FUCKER!

I'm not kidding. This new phone has THE GAYEST RINGTONES EVER!!! (Not that there's anything wrong with that.) Well, to my surprise, there aren't any restrictions on my account. I can surf the internet and download ring tones at will...so that's what I did.

My phone now plays the theme music from "The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly." When I walk down the center of town and my phone rings...everyone clears the street. They duck into stores and hide behind barns. Every once in a while, I'll shoot a horse just to throw a scare into them.

Yep, there's a new sheriff in town and his name is Jason "One Bad Mother Fucker" Tracey.