Mr. Happy

I'd like to take credit for these gems but they were simply collected from the internet...

My dick is so big, there's still snow on it in the summertime.

My dick is so big, I went to The Viper Room and my dick got right in. I had to stand and argue with the doorman.

My dick is so big, I have to call it Mr. Dick in front of company.

My dick is so big, it won't return Spielberg's calls.

My dick is so big, it was overthrown by a military coup. It's now known as the Democratic Republic of My Dick.

My dick is so big, I'm already fucking a girl tomorrow.

My dick is so big, there was once a movie called Godzilla vs. My Dick.

My dick is so big, I entered it in a big-dick contest and it came in first, second, and third.

My dick is the Walrus, koo koo ga joob.

My dick is so big, it takes four fat women and a team of Clydesdales to jack me off.

My dick is so big, King Kong is going to crawl up it in the next remake.

My dick is so big, it only plays arenas.

My dick is so big, it has its own dick. And even my dick's dick is bigger than your dick.

My dick is so big, movie theaters now serve popcorn in small, medium, large, and My Dick.

My dick is so big, that when I fly, it has to take the train.

My dick is so big, it’s a Weapon of Ass Destruction!

My dick is so big, when I fall down, I fuck everyone in China.

My dick is so big, it has a Dick Traffic Control tower.

My dick is so big, when I was circumcised they applied the antiseptic with a paint roller.

My dick is so big, Vanilla Ice sampled it in one of his songs.

My dick is so big, if I acted in a movie, my dick and I would easily win Best On-Screen Duo.

My dick is so big, I was banned from the PGA for having too many woods in my bag.

My dick is so big, there's a sign half way to the head that says "4 hour wait from this spot."

My dick is so big, if I stop too fast I might jack-knife.