You Say Potato, I Say Furtado

I’m not sure which opener I should use…either “Whoa Nelly!” or “Holy Hotness Batman!” Either way, Nelly Furtado has grown up into a beautiful woman!

A couple weeks ago, I heard one of her songs on the radio and I thought to myself “Why did she drop off the face of the earth – I liked her music.” I know that she had a baby but good lord, give it up for adoption already and come back to the music world.

So, as fate would have it, a video comes on VH1 this morning and I’m sitting there thinking, “That kind of looks like Nelly…it kind of sounds like Nelly…but I don’t think it is.”

She used to be an ultra-petite thing that looked like she couldn’t gain weight if she wanted. Now, after a prolonged absence from the public life, she returns 2 feet taller with a bangin’ figure and softer features.

2 thumbs up! I might just have to buy her new album so that I can lick the cover. Would ya! I would! In fact, I’d jump on that like Keith’s mom on a donut cart. By the way, I went over to his mom’s house for a visit – it smelled like an ass-grenade had gone off.

I’m tellin’ ya, I’m getting all kinds of new material for the MTV show “Yo Momma”. Your mom is so stanky, I called her on the phone and she gave me an ear infection! Oh no you didn’t!